Thriving with ADHD in a Neurotypical World: A New Compass
Thriving with ADHD in a Neurotypical World: A New Compass
In March 2023, a new chapter of my life began when I was diagnosed with ADHD Inattentive. This unexpected diagnosis propelled me on a journey of self-discovery and understanding—a journey that continues to this day. As I sought to understand this new facet of my identity, I came across an inspiring post by Oaktree Counselor titled "ADULT ADHD: AM I JUST LAZY? UM, NO." The post resonated with me deeply, prompting me to adapt it to reflect my personal experiences and insights. What follows is not just an adaptation but my own narrative intertwined with the wisdom I found in Oaktree Counselor's post—a personal exploration of living with ADHD.
Let's begin by addressing a pervasive misconception: People with ADHD are frequently labelled as lazy. However, the reality is far from this stereotype. We are typically incredibly productive, although not always in the areas that society might expect us to be.
Allow me to illustrate this with a personal experience. I was working on assessments for a Masters in Economics of Sustainability. The assignments required substantial revisions before the looming deadline, yet I consistently postponed them. Despite being acutely aware of the importance and urgency, I found myself scrambling at the last minute on the day of submission. This isn't indicative of irresponsibility or procrastination. Rather, it's a reflection of the unique workings of an ADHD brain.
So, what is the solution? Let me reassure you: you are neither lazy, unintelligent, nor irrational. It's about comprehending and working in harmony with our unique cognitive framework.
Let's proceed to unravel the mystery: WHY CAN'T I GET THINGS DONE ON TIME? Dr. William Dodson, an authority on ADHD, offers enlightening insight.
Here's a brief summary: 'Neurotypicals' (those without ADHD) make decisions based on three factors: Importance, Rewards, and Consequences. But we, people with ADHD, operate differently. Our decisions are steered by Interest, Challenge, Novelty, and Urgency (ICNU).
If a task doesn't meet the ICNU criteria, it's unlikely to get done. That is, unless there's substantial external pressure, which nudges it into the 'Urgency' category.
Let's delve further: WHY REWARDS AND CONSEQUENCES DON'T WORK. Rewards only exert influence over us when they are interesting, novel, challenging, or supremely urgent.
Consequences, conversely, are more intricate. They usually need to be so pressing that they're impossible to ignore. This is where procrastination enters the equation: it precipitates a crisis, subsequently creating urgency, enabling us to tackle that lingering final paper at last.
The crucial takeaway here is: STOP TRYING TO FIT THE NEUROTYPICAL MOLD. The more I strive to operate like those without ADHD, the more frustrated and unmotivated I become. Consider exercise, for instance. The gym isn't where I prefer to be. However, a physical activity that doesn't feel like "exercise"? Now, that's motivating and enjoyable.
So, what's the next step? Dr. Dodson suggests crafting your own "Owner's Manual." Identify the strategies that are currently working for you. When are you most focused and productive? Understand those circumstances.
Remember that your manual should concentrate on strategies that work now, not those that were effective in the past. The novelty, after all, eventually wears off.
Once you've identified these strategies, investigate how the activity aligns with the ICNU criteria.
Recently, I encountered an approach articulated by Dr. Dodson that has illuminated my understanding of ADHD in a profound way. It suggests that the key to thriving in a neurotypical world is not in fighting our inherent ADHD traits but rather in understanding and harnessing them. This revelation feels like a lightbulb moment, a pivotal point on my journey of self-discovery and acceptance. It's time we redefine our narrative, challenge the misconceptions, and tap into our unique potential. Join me as we navigate through life with this newfound understanding, using our ICNU compass to guide us through the labyrinth of a neurotypical world.
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Interesting observation, and one that resonates with me, even though I don’t identify as ADHD. Urgency is certainly something that motivates me, although I’d much rather avoid the associated stress. And yet I find it hard to get motivated without it.